It was the year 1956. The parents, R Subramanian and Seetha Subramanian were really looking forward to the birth of their first child. It had been a long wait of 15 years and now was the moment they had been waiting for. The boy child was born on Thursday, 26th July. The mother looked at her son and knew that he had been sent to her specially. The child was born a quadriplegic. The child would grow up and be able to think and hear and see, but, for everything else he would need the support of his family and extended family of friends. Both Seetha and Subramanian knew that they were the chosen ones for this special child and vowed to look after him with their life. The boy was named Sridhar and he was to be their Narayana, the wealth of the family. The earliest picture of the family was taken at the traditional set up of GK Vale. Dressed in his finest, Sridhar posed for the photo with excitement in his eyes.
Nitya the younger child came into the family two years after Sridhar was born, 17 years after the parents had been wedded. Born on 5th May 1958, by God’s grace, Nitya was a hale and hearty child. As she grew up she realised that there was something wrong with her brother. Why was he not able to get up and play with her or talk to her like her parents did? Why was she not able to run around and fight with him or laugh with him like the other girls and boys in the other families? Why was he always lying down or why did he have to be lifted and taken everywhere? Why was he not calling out to her to come and play? When the young, innocent sister asked this question of her father, the wise father replied, she was the chosen one. She was the special person God had created to take care of her special bother and his special needs. This made Nitya realise that indeed she was the chosen one for she had a brother like no other!
As they grew up together, living in a small home in a typical Brahmin agraharam, both Sridhar and Nitya were home tutored till Nitya was sent to a convent for her schooling. Her mother made it a point to teach Sridhar and she found him to be extremely smart and intelligent. Sridhar managed to communicate with his eyes and his guttural noises. He twitched a particular way when excited or happy and one could see the smile reach his eyes. If only Sridhar had been able to speak, there is no doubt that he would have had loads to say, that too with humour, and would have proved to be one of the greatest motivational speakers of all times. Members of the family were very inclusive and Sridhar had developed his own set of friends who made it a point to take him out regularly, for a walk, on his wheelchair, for a spin. They laughed and joked and conversed with him in the most normal and natural of ways. Sridhar had his own communication language which everyone around him began to understand by then.
The early 60s did not have much going for the impaired and physically disabled. The country was not disabled friendly and they always found it difficult to take Sridhar anywhere. Basic amenities were not to be found. Social stigma was still prevalent for the simple reason that people did not know how to respond to someone they saw who was not normal like them. Reactions were often more towards feeling sorry for the parents and wondering about the troubles they must be facing.
Time flew by and they started looking for a suitable life partner for Nitya. She had only one condition. She was responsible for her brother and anyone marrying her was marrying into the family, which meant being there for Sridhar. Thus came into her life Ravi Ramaswami. Ravi’s father and Nitya’s father had decided to strengthen the bond. Wedding photographs show Sridhar playing the important role of the elder brother in the ceremonies and being included in the entire wedding. The important role of the brother adding rice to the agni was carried out by him.
Nitya and Ravi were blessed with a girl and a boy. Both the children grew up with their Mama and loved him for what he was. Sridhar continued to play his important rule of being the Mama. The children grew up with a strong emotional quotient and super intelligence. They accepted, adapted, adopted, adjusted and accommodated. Today they are brilliant human beings in their own strength leading their lives, being that much richer.
Sridhar’s parents had only one what worry. What would happen to him after they were no more. They knew that Nitya would continue to care for her brother, but they felt bad about burdening her with such a responsibility. Sridhar’s father passed away on 1st June 1989 only to be followed by his mother within 40 days of his losing his father. Seetha Subramanian died on 10th July 1989. The siblings were suddenly left orphans in this world having only each other and Nitya’s family to keep them together.
Nitya continued to look after her brother till his end in December 22 1992. The family pension that was due to him was transferred to him after the death of his parents and that day Sridhar felt he was worth something and had earned self-respect. Nitya recalls fondly how thrilled he was when the first amount was credited to his account.
Sridhar was an inspiration to those who knew him. He was a pillar of strength to the family despite his impairment. For those who knew the family the way the siblings communicated through a series of questions and answers with a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ was something to be witnessed. It almost always brought a smile on their faces as it did on the onlookers.
